An early June morning was spent digging roots and wild onions... Deep in that clay... Under that layer of old mountain soil...  Our minds dug just as deep... Or maybe mine did and you just listened. In either case it all came to a pin point this morn.  I am not easy medicine to swallow, I will say to you what is needed. Not what you want to hear and you will anger for it. My medicine is not laced with sweetener, there will be no fucking spoon full of sugar here. That shit rots your teeth, don't you know?  We talked about the future & what it is I am building from my humble  instagram  account that has exploded with growth. As in what would still remain when the fad of instagram falls to the wayside? As in when I am older. Much older. Where will I be with you, the ones I have built this with? We talked of a large farm where reality could be taught. About plant medicine, life medicine and offering the apprenticeships you all ask for so often.  That's when I realized. Shit. So many would be angered. When they got here & it was to real. When the sweet illusion many have built of me would turn to a bitter taste. Because I could not cater to illusions. Nor would I offer dietary options besides whatever the fuck was for dinner that night!  But the more I think on this the more I feel it is needed. A retreat that is not soaked in sweet medicine. Maybe just hard work, death & vulgarity. I mean so many say they wish they had my knowledge. Split wood, haul water, gut yer dinner. That's a start to how I learned ya know?  What if what I offered was reality & that most days where just hard ass work. What if I didn't speak as flowing as I write & am rather fucking salty? What if my beliefs challenged yours & I just didn't give a fuck? Dinner still needs cooking. What if what I offered was not sweetened up with spirituality for sale like every other God damned workshop & retreat I see advertised on social media these days. Ask me to teach you to be shaman & well I just may give you a slap!   I see those offerings by others who portray themselves as perpetually joyous & enlightened, it makes me cringe for them. Having to keep up that facade for the sake of keeping you the person who is paying them in some way happy & I just could never do that. So I think I'll start a center & call it "I don't give a fuck dinner still needs cooking!"   

An early June morning was spent digging roots and wild onions... Deep in that clay... Under that layer of old mountain soil...

Our minds dug just as deep... Or maybe mine did and you just listened. In either case it all came to a pin point this morn.

I am not easy medicine to swallow, I will say to you what is needed. Not what you want to hear and you will anger for it. My medicine is not laced with sweetener, there will be no fucking spoon full of sugar here. That shit rots your teeth, don't you know?

We talked about the future & what it is I am building from my humble instagram account that has exploded with growth. As in what would still remain when the fad of instagram falls to the wayside? As in when I am older. Much older. Where will I be with you, the ones I have built this with? We talked of a large farm where reality could be taught. About plant medicine, life medicine and offering the apprenticeships you all ask for so often.

That's when I realized. Shit. So many would be angered. When they got here & it was to real. When the sweet illusion many have built of me would turn to a bitter taste. Because I could not cater to illusions. Nor would I offer dietary options besides whatever the fuck was for dinner that night!

But the more I think on this the more I feel it is needed. A retreat that is not soaked in sweet medicine. Maybe just hard work, death & vulgarity. I mean so many say they wish they had my knowledge. Split wood, haul water, gut yer dinner. That's a start to how I learned ya know?

What if what I offered was reality & that most days where just hard ass work. What if I didn't speak as flowing as I write & am rather fucking salty? What if my beliefs challenged yours & I just didn't give a fuck? Dinner still needs cooking. What if what I offered was not sweetened up with spirituality for sale like every other God damned workshop & retreat I see advertised on social media these days. Ask me to teach you to be shaman & well I just may give you a slap! 

I see those offerings by others who portray themselves as perpetually joyous & enlightened, it makes me cringe for them. Having to keep up that facade for the sake of keeping you the person who is paying them in some way happy & I just could never do that. So I think I'll start a center & call it "I don't give a fuck dinner still needs cooking!"

 


This was a post made to my Instagram account on a hectic morning where my feed was blown up with "learn to be an herbalist, shamanism for sale, brother bear sister bear, constant joy, live off the land in a highly fashionable instagram photo worthy way wile using no animals and bathing in the essential oils you took an online class to learn all about" type of shit. I quickly realized with all of your outpouring of support (I'm hard headed took me a while) it is my unwillingness to be THAT person, fuck my outright inability to be that person that makes people flock to me as well as hate me deeply. There does not seem to be an in between and that's okay. But just to say, odds are if I'm rubbing you the wrong way you're likely seeing some of your own superficial bullshit being called out in my words and that glimpse of self is making your skin crawl! It happens to us all now and then, you'll live.

So I sat there feeling layers of self doubt fall away. You see I never liked the idea of teaching classes. But why? Well perhaps it's because over the years social media and superficial humans would have me believe that no one would be interested in learning from me or in the style in which I would have to teach? Which would be anything but a "class",  I am NEVER going to give you a "certificate" of completion. I will share my knowledge, but probably not in the way you are accustom to. I'll say "Oh fuck that looked like it hurt! Grab that plant there put it on your hurt she's good for that!" now you know just as much as the other person who knows that plant helps with pain! Why in the fuck would you need a piece of paper to prove that you know that?

We have evolved to a state in our society that we somehow believe if we have not sat in a room staring at pages under a blinding florescent light while amassing crippling debt that our knowledge is not qualified. So many in their quest to feel validated in an unqualifiable field (THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A CERTIFIED HERBALIST IN THE US) take a million online classes which teach complex heroic modalities so they are now able to pass this on to you, IF you are smart enough and spiritually evolved enough to understand them that is.. for a nominal sum of course.. sometimes at an event that you already paid out the ass for and food wasn't even included! It's a weird cycle that I feel is really isolating many from working with plant medicine.

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You are smart enough to do this!

 

There are many of us who find ourselves left out of that oddly sterile heroic world that reeks of privilege, ego and seemingly unattainable never ending optimism and sickening joy. Which is in reality a blessing in disguise, however...

All to often for those of us who have had well quite frankly a hard fucking life and don't come from a life of privilege we end up feeling broken being around said humans. We can't achieve your ever present joy and deep enlightenment and fuck now you want us to memorize dangerous ass herbs, complex formulas and how to poison someone "just enough" to heal them? Wait what we can't eat meat or grains either? Damn. So we walk away with new things to feel shitty about versus knowledge and less money in our already moth eaten pockets.

But the reality is it's in so many ways just a sales tactic that makes you feel small, broken and that you could never know as much as them. Unless you take at least their full course of classes they also offer online. I mean that does come with a certificate of completion after all. It's even got some shiny gold foiling on that shit!

I mean do you in our current day society think that people would sign up for a "class" where a person says they know about these safe simple plants and it's really not that complicated, but sometimes they are sad, overwhelmed, hide away, grumpy, have anxiety, is a "flawed" human etc. Oh and while this is "simple" they never used the word easy. That there is actual physical labor involved in the kind of learning that will "qualify" you to know how shit works on a deeper level. That there will be no time to frolic in a clean white flowing dress in some pristine flower filled meadow while a drum circle plays?

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Your knowedge is just as valid!

Fuck no this doesn't sell because it doesn't offer escape from reality but a shocking view of the falsity we are living in. But this in my humble opinion is a huge issue with herbalism these days, shit life in general. Heroic healers hiding behind inflated spirituality and they've got knowledge to sell ya!

"Jezus this went deep April"! What I am trying to say is I'm so tired of this. Aren't you? I cant be alone in seeing this gross destruction of humanity by damaging social media and wanting no NEEDING a safe place to both learn and teach, laugh and cry from trauma until I fucking puke. To sing in earnest ways and to work until my mind is to tired to worry. To be content in knowing that one more human knows the things I know before I die. I suppose what I am trying to say is that I have a goal and I am stubborn in achieving the ones that make my soul burn.

This goal involves those of you who feel this with me. Who want to learn in them old ways, them unqualified, un-certified just knowing ways, those ways that our Grandmother and fathers knew that kept generations and generations alive before us. You see these are the ways I know. These are the ways that have been helping you all over these past few years. I make no claims to be qualified, I hold no certificates. I just am. We are equal and I'm only here to remind you of the ways your blood has always known it's just your mind that has forgotten!

A non profit farm my dear, some wild raw land, a sacred place, some heart breaking work, some sweat poring movement, a healing center, a place for classes in uncommon ways, workshops that are taught by just doing, the apprenticeships so many ask for. You want to know what I know? Split wood, haul water, gut yer dinner and deal with your shit. That'd be a start!

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Fuck knowledge held hostage for profit!

So now you're probabaly thinking oh great here is the part where she asks for money! Actually I don't want this handed to me, I want to fight for it, bleed for it, cry for it because that's the only damn way it will be lasting!

However there are a few things you can do to support this goal that don't involve you straight up giving me money for nothing in return!

Be present during my scheduled shop updates!Not only will you end up with some awesome safe and simple plant offerings that will help YOU take your health back into YOUR own hands but did you know every dime of profit made goes directly into saving towards our goal hear?! Yep for real! Check out the savings graph below!

Do you follow me on Instagram? If so take the time to comment, like and share on all of my daily postings! This truly helps others find me as the algorithm buries content that dies not have much interaction rate! Pretty hard to share safe simple knowledge for free if folks are not shown my words so this is actually extremely helpful and wont cost you a dime!

Did you know that i have a pretty active Youtube channel where i am already showing you how to make these safe simple plant medicines and introducing you to them in the wild?! Yep it's pretty fun and i promise it is simple! Plus every time you watch my videos i get paid! Sure it pennies on the dollar but it adds up! So be sure to subscribe to my channel and share my videos! Also liking and commenting on them is vital as it gets me bumped up into the suggested content so other people can find me!

Even the simple act of suggesting my Instagram, Etsy shop, Youtube channel to friends family and especially strangers helps more than you know! Basically we just gata get the word out there folks!

 

LOOK HOW MUCH WE HAVE WORKED OUR ASSES OFF TO RAISE/SAVE IN JUST THE LAST YEAR FROM JUST THE SHOP UPDATES, NEWSLETTER ENROLLMENTS & YOUTUBE VIDEOS!!!

AS OF 8/2/18 WE ARE ACTIVELY MAKING AN OFFER ON SOME LAND FOR THE FARM!

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Click here to make a difference

Okay but what will actually be taught here?

 

While there's no way for me to cover every little thing here is a good run down!

How to make safe and simple plant medicines in the forms of:

Salves, balms, butters, creams, lotions, gels, infusions, tinctures, elixirs, oxymels and more!

How to wild craft as well as garden medicinal plants so we can make the offerings above in the first damn place!

How we can supplement our diet off of these same plants we have been wild crafting!

How to take more of our own health back into our own hands with those same wild crafted plants!

How to make medicines with the seasons!

What is sustainable harvesting?

How  to cook a whole fucking chicken, don't laugh most people under the age of 38 these days have no idea how to do so!

While were at it you should probably learn how to raise a chicken and shit lets go full circle and show you how to gut a chicken too!

Maybe you rip your pants and I show you how to sew it up?

Oh goodness we cant forget about the huge garden we will need to grow to feed us all!

Shit that's a lot of veggies guess i better teach you how to preserve it all beyond just freezing it! Don't be afraid of a pressure caner it probably wont blow up!

I'm guessing as that's underway you'll learn how to deeply nourish your body too!

Hang out around me long enough and you for sure can learn how to shoot a gun!

But maybe a singular chicken wont be enough to feed us all, guess you'll probably learn how to butcher something bigger like a goat! That will involve shooting a gun too, just saying.

Honestly this list could go on and on as we will just be carving out a day to day existence right alongside one another and you would be here working right alongside me! Rather it's during a workshop that only maybe lasts a few days or a full blown apprenticeship that lasts for months at a time!

 

Every last bit of it will not cost you a single dime, but it wont be free. As i will expect you to listen hard and work harder but i know together we can acomplish amazing things and you will walk away with an invaluable wealth of knowedge to share with the world!

 

Also just to say I am actually a really nice person who just cusses a lot and usually doe not have the enegry most days to yell at her dog let alone another human!

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